The Minimum Wage, or Why I Scored So High on the Kucinich/Sharpton Scale

I just figured it out. A few posts ago (see ) I took a poll to see where I stood in terms of % agreement with the candidates. And while my 100% agreement with the President was a little funny, my 38% agreement with Al Sharpton was shocking. Yes, Al Sharpton is by far the wittiest and verbally deft of the group, but still. Where did my parents go wrong?
The minimum wage, that's where.
I just remembered there was a question on that poll if I favored increasing the minimum wage. Hell YES I do. I think the Republicans should get right out in front on this populist issue and raise it up to at least $12/hour, maybe $16 if they can keep a straight face. Then like a rocket ship to the moon – BANG zzzzzoooOOOMMM! – unemployment among the lower classes, a sure and certain Democrat constituency, will go up. A lot. And so what? It’s not like there’s any other way to get the point across that a minimum wage hurts the employment prospects of everyone near the margin of employability. And it’s not like they’re on our side.
In case you’re not a business owner or manager, it works like this:
You own a landscaping and small earthwork company. And just for grins, let’s say you can’t find any illegal aliens in your town. I dunno, maybe you live in Nebraska. So you just landed some good contracts but don’t have enough men to do all the grading or planting that’s required. You need more people. Or do you? Your local CAT dealer is having a zero percent interest sale on new CAT skid steer loaders (what most folks call a “bobcat”) with zero down and 36 months to pay, and it costs $24,000. So let’s see, that’s $24,000 divided by 36 months divided by 173 working hours per month, that’s … Holy Cow! That’s only $3.85 per hour. Now, you’re not stupid. You know that no machine can be kept at productive use 100% of the time. It will need fuel, and oil, and filters, and hydraulic fluid, and repairs and tires and so on. But on the other hand, it doesn’t need workman’s comp insurance, it doesn’t bitch and moan, it won’t sue you for wrongful termination, won’t disappear on the first day of elk season (does Nebraska have elk? Dammifino.)
On the other hand, you might like giving a job to some dumb high school kid. Maybe he’ll turn out OK, maybe he’ll be fun to work with, maybe he’ll wash the truck. And if the minimum wage is about where it is now, $5.15, then the calculation of employer-or-machine is a close one. But for every nickel the minimum wage is raised, the balance of the decision goes more and more to the machine.
And in case you didn't know it, sales of these little skidsteers have been going through the roof for years.
Now I know accountants will look at this differently, and who knows or cares how an economist would look at it. But here’s how I look at it.
Why should Republicans continue to take heat from stupid kids, laborers and minorities when, by opposing increases to the minimum wage, those same Republicans are looking out for the best interests of those same Democrat-voting ignoramuses. I say “screw ‘em.” If they can’t understand the argument, then they might just understand being unemployed. Then we’ll sit back and let the Democrats take the heat for lowering the minimum wage, or better yet, eliminating it altogether and letting the Invisible Hand of Liberty do its thing.
Hell, let’s make it $20/hour!
And this is also the official version of every Democrat candidate -- hence my agreement with Sharpton. From JohnKerry.com's Working for African Americans:

Raise the Minimum Wage: Nearly one in six minimum wage workers are African American – or 1.7 million workers. Because inflation has been eating away at the minimum wage, its value is the lowest it has been since 1989. John Kerry helped lead the fight to pass the last minimum wage increase in 1997 and is a strong supporter of legislation to increase the minimum wage and index it to inflation to keep working families from falling farther behind.

Let's be Lucy instead of Charlie Brown for a change.
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Comments

[Mace]

Hell, why stop at $20/hour. Let's go to $100/hour for everyone, thereby eliminating poverty FOREVER.

Damn I'm good.

[Pedro]

Mace, could we do it with a straight face? If we're gonna go that far, let's make beer free too.

[Rick the Bomber]

Okay. You've convinced me. Let's do it!

Of course, the next step will be MANDATORY hiring according to some quota - just like the one-time voluntary benefit of health insurance became an albatross and sanctioned harassment of business.

[Pedro]

We'll jump in front of that one, too. Mandate hiring everybody who applies. It won't take long...

[Air Jordan Shoes]

The first thing I did when I returned to the States was to call on Rachel. Her mother answered the door. Rachel no longer lived there. She had married a medical student she’d met in college. “I thought she wrote you,” her mother said.