I wonder what a truly Right Wing TV News station would be like?

I usually chuckle a little whenever I hear a Lefty complain about the Conservative FOX News. Sometimes I even chortle. Mike The Liberal Brother In Law and his wife (my sister) can’t stand to watch FOX, but I watch FOX, and it’s clear to me FOX is a lot closer to being Fair & Balanced than any other cable or broadcast news station.

What would a really right-wing news station be like? Getting sleepy…..

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3…, 2…, 1…

ON CAMERA

ANCHOR MAN: (white guy, about 50 years old, wearing a blue suit, white shirt, red tie, American flag lapel pin) Good evening America, and welcome to another edition of THE TRUTH.

ANCHOR WOMAN: (white chick, gorgeous, about 35 years old, pink suit with blue silk shirt, blonde brunette or redhead, take you pick) Our top story tonight, another liberal judge appointed by President Clinton is responsible for the slaying of a family, this time in Fresno, California.

CUT TO PICTURE OF CRAZY-LOOKING BLACK MAN (you remember Willie Horton, don’t you?)

ANCHOR WOMAN: This man, Donald Smith, was released by Judge Makesitupashegoes on a Miranda technicality. After Mr. Smith’s release, Smith got high on crack cocaine, bought an illegal gun off the streets of Fresno, and murdered the Thornton family of 1234 Maple Drive. Smith was apprehended by police at the scene.

CUT TO VIDEO TAPE OF POLICE PATROL OFFICER:
“Oh, darn it!” Gulp, fight back tears. “We caught this guy before! This didn’t have to happen! What’s the point of being a cop if Judge Makesitupashegoes is just going to let the perp’s out to steal and kill again?” Patrol officer bangs fist on hood of patrol car.

ANCHOR MAN: This isn’t the first technicality crime to be traced back to Clinton appointee Makesitupashegoes. In 2006, Makesitupashegoes also let notorious child-molester, Chester Butcher, out on a disallowed confession.

ANCHOR WOMAN: Just what we need, Anchor Man: more convicted child molesters running loose on the streets. I wonder what will be next for His Honor Makesitupashegoes.

ANCHOR MAN: That’s not just a rhetorical question, Anchor Woman. Here’s a special report from our Washington Analyst Steven Donegood.

CUT TO DONEGOOD (a young, fit, clean-cut, vaguely Latino looking man in a blue suit, with an American flag lapel pin) STANDING IN FRONT OF THE US ARCHIVES BUILDING:
That’s right Anchor Man. It is often forgotten that the Constitution has checks and balances built-in for Congress to instill some sanity into the bench.

CUT TO PICTURE OF THE CONSTITUTION.
Article 2 section 4 spells it out: impeachment. If two-thirds of the senate votes aye, then any judge can be removed from office. To quote Founding Father and Supreme Court Justice Joseph Story,

“Departure from the text of the Constitution as originally understood would permit unelected and unaccountable, life-tenured federal judges to impose their personal values on the rest of us, and would ultimately result in judicial tyranny.”

There is no doubt such a judicial coups would qualify as a ‘high crime or misdemeanor’ as understood by the founders. As any one can clearly read for himself, there is no Miranda right in the Constitution, no right to privacy, no right to kill the unborn, and no reason to throw out the confessions of repeat child molesters and rapists. It remains to the Senate to find its backbone. Back to you, Anchor Man.”

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Ahhh, what a nice nap. But I wonder:

Would a TV news desk have to be right wing to discuss the issue of repeat offenders getting out on made-up-by-liberal-judges technicalities only to kill &/or rape &/or molest? There is no reason a TV news desk couldn’t have a similar story every week of the year -- examples abound. Senators could be interviewed and asked, “Senator Martinez (R-Florida), why haven’t you introduced articles of impeachment against Judge Makesitupashegoes?

Would a TV news desk have to be right wing to do a detailed investigative story about France’s No-War for Oil connections to the Hussein regime and in the Sudan?

Would a TV news desk have to be right wing to do a story about UN corruption over the years, including interviews with serious people who think the time has come to reject the United Nations in favor of something new built around a coalition of the willing?

Would a TV news desk have to be right wing to talk openly and honestly about the fact that world wide terrorism is Muslim terrorism?

Would a TV news desk have to be right wing to celebrate the US Military’s incredible new way of fighting without dying? (Witness the new wounded/killed ratio at 8 whereas it used to be at 5 or less.)

Would a TV news desk have to be right wing to point out that the Senate Democrat’s filibuster of appellate judges has never been done before? Or to ask Senator Daschle (better hurry) why he thinks the Constitution’s clause about the senate means a minority in a senate committee and not the full senate?

Would a TV news desk have to be right wing to make the correlation between fatherless boys and crime?

Would a TV news desk have to be right wing to do stories about the inverse proportion of spending on education to quality of education as shown by standardized tests.

Would a TV news desk have to be right wing to talk about the Return On Investment of the stock market over any 40 year period – including a period encompassing the Great Depression -- compared to the return from social security as its rules are today?

If you ask me, FOX has barely scratched the surface for the market for a “right wing” TV news network. If the Mainstream Media continues its trip down socialist lane, look for a true right-wing media to get fired up, on TV, live, and in color. Despite what my brother-in-law might* think, there is a lot of room to the right of FOX.

* Note: Mike hasn’t actually said this to me. I think he would if I asked him, but I haven’t asked him. I can tell you they run screaming for the remote if FOX comes on the TV at their house, in much the way my eldest sister freaks out at the sight of a cockroach.

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