The Happy Carpenter

Tomorrow's headline, Today!

This will be the headline tomorrow. Count on it.

Kerry Makes Comeback

That's what the Main Stream Media (MSM) will say no matter what happens tonight. In a way it will be honest, because they hate the President so much they will cringe at his every word without regard to what his words are. They will talk to each other and since they all feel the same, they'll know they're right.

Then the polls will come out showing President Bush widening his lead. Expect that story to be buried. Watch for them to compare pre-debate polls of likely voters to post-debate polls of registered voters.

The Democrat Vice Presidential Nominee and his effect on North Carolina's health

The American Medical Association lists North Carolina's current health care situation as a "crisis" and blames it on medical-malpractice lawsuits such as the ones that made Democratic vice-presidential candidate Sen. John Edwards a millionaire many times over.

Things are seriously screwy at the Democrat Party when they appoint a medical malpractice trial lawyer to be their Vice Presidential candidate. What were they thinking?

One of the most successful personal-injury lawyers in North Carolina history, Mr. Edwards won dozens of lawsuits against doctors and hospitals across the state that he now represents in the Senate. He won more than 50 cases with verdicts or settlements of $1 million or more, according to North Carolina Lawyers Weekly, and 31 of those were medical-malpractice suits.

During his 20 years of suing doctors and hospitals, he pioneered the art of blaming psychiatrists for patients who commit suicide and blaming doctors for delivering babies with cerebral palsy, according to doctors, fellow lawyers and legal observers who followed Mr. Edwards' career in North Carolina.
"The John Edwards we know crushed [obstetrics, gynecology] and neurosurgery in North Carolina," said Dr. Craig VanDerVeer, a Charlotte neurosurgeon. "As a result, thousands of patients lost their health care."

From the Washington Times

20K

Some time during the power outage caused by Hurricane Jeanne, my site received its 20,000th hit. Granted, Instapundit gets that before breakfast, but I think it's cool. I hope I'm doing my part.

Hand-me-down Guardian Angel

From the Patriette

Fort Riley grants ill youth wish to be Soldier

Fort Riley, Kansas - Seven-year-old Phillip Shriver has a new guardian angel -- a little bear angel with red, white and blue wings, wearing a helmet.

Shriver who has a life threatening illness, leukemia, received the memento during his visit to Fort Riley Sept. 20, from Command Sgt. Maj. James Savitski, 4th Battalion, 1st Field Artillery command sergeant major.

Shriver was here living his dream of being a Soldier - if only for a day. His wish was granted by Fort Riley and the Make-A-Wish Foundation of Kansas.

Savitski said he received the bear from his daughter, Michelle, then 12 years old, while he was deployed to Iraq with the 3rd Brigade Combat Team.

"I figured my little guardian angel had done its job (kept him safe) and needed to be used somewhere else more appropriate." said Savitski. "Phillip was the right person to give it to. I hope and pray it keeps him safe and protects and comforts him."

Shriver's day on Fort Riley was filled with Soldiering.

Fort Riley's youngest Solder arrived by helicopter, provided by Company B, 158th Aviation, of the Kansas Army National Guard, of Olathe, Kan.

Shriver's tour of duty as a Soldier began with a visit to Range 18 were members of H Troop, 1st Cavalry Regiment were honing their scouting skills.

"This is cool," said Shriver as he made his way to the hatch on the Humvee and got behind the 50-cal. machine gun mounted on the vehicle.

Shriver's next stop on the tour was the 1st Battalion, 13th Armor motor pool where he climbed aboard and explored an M1-A1 Abrams Tank.

After a quick tour and a brief explanation of the tank's capabilities, the crew fired the tank up and rumbled off with Shriver.

"We just drove him around the motor pool," said Staff Sgt. Thomas Patrick, the gunner on the battalion commander's tank. "Phillip sure seemed to enjoy it."

When the tank returned, Shriver's dad, Chris asked him what he thought about the ride. The young tanker replied without hesitation, "That tank can run over your truck!"
...

But the best was yet to come. Canuela took the newly promoted sergeant to the lobby of the headquarters where five sergeant majors were waiting for the special visitor.

"Its my honor to promote you to the grade of honorary command sergeant major," said Canuela. In a certificate signed by the Sergeant Major of the Army Kenneth Preston, Shriver was promoted again.

With little warning to those present the youngest command sergeant major on Fort Riley, belted out, "Drop and give me 20."

With a startled hesitation, all six sergeant majors hit the ground. Counting out each push-up with "one sergeant major, two sergeant major until they had completed the task at hand.

All y’all Florida Democrat Negroes might jes’well stay home come votin’ day, know what I’m sayin’?

Jimmy Carter says

• some basic international requirements for a fair election are missing in Florida.
• Mr. Carter charged that (the Florida Secretary of State’s) office made a "fumbling attempt" to disqualify 22,000 black voters [that would be CONVICTED FELONS – The Happy Carpenter].
• accused Miss Hood of working in a partisan manner to place Ralph Nader on the statewide presidential ballot, "knowing that two-thirds of his votes in the previous election came at the expense" of Democrat Al Gore.
• Mr. Carter called Florida's election system "suspicious" and said that despite changes designed to avoid the woes of 2000, conditions for a fair election still do not exist.
• “The disturbing fact is that a repetition of the problems of 2000 now seems likely”

All y’all know dis jus a ‘tempt to keep down the Black Man, keep him in his place. You don think Whitey gon’ count cho vote fo real, do y’all? Shoot, nigga, don play da fool. You be linin’ up an shit at dem polls, and whitey, he be laughin’ at yo black ass. He be sayin’ shit like, “Hooee! Lokkit that bruthu thinkin’ he be votin’ fo Kerry. Don dat nigga know nobody be voting fo Kerry today, ceptin’ ‘nuff to make is look good?”

I’m not quite sure why the Democrats are working so hard to suppress the Negro vote in Florida, but if a group that votes 95% democrat wants to stay home and watch TV November 2nd, that’s fine wif me.

The power is back on

Just got power back. Ahhhhh, air conditioning. Good!

No major damage, but my neighbor's boat did get trashed. Some limbs down, a little water blown through the windows and doors. No big whup. Although most of the green grapefruit got blown off the tree in the front yard. Dang, those are good grapefruit.

And while Florida is well above its average annual rainfall amount (+10" and counting) we'll need 21 more inches if we're going to get the record.

Once more into the breach, Dear Friends

Dammit, I'd promised myself no more hurricane posts. Jeanne had other plans. She'll be here about 2:00 PM today.

Maybe people who live in Buffalo, NY or some other place where the weather is just horrific can understand what it's like for us Floridians about now -- we are SICK OF IT!

.

The Stakeout

Dear Larry,

Last Thursday I put out one of my Bush/Cheney signs in my front yard. Between midnight and 3:00 a.m. someone stole it. On Friday night I put out sign No. 2. Since I didn't have to get up early, I thought my dog and I would "stake out" our sign. This time I put the sign a little closer to the gate leading to my backyard. With my dog on an extra long leash, I planted myself on a lawn chair and read "Unfit for Command" by flashlight until about 1:00 a.m. Here comes the fun part . . . I noticed that the car coming down the street was slowing down and pulling over to the curb right next to my yard. Sure enough, he gets out of his car and heads right for my sign. Just as he was about to uproot and desecrate it, I opened my gate and let my dog make the initial introduction! As he ran to hide behind the rear end of his car, I promptly moved to the driver-side door, which was still open. It was a fairly nice car with power everything and still running. While my dog continued to "introduce" herself, I rolled up the window and hit the power door lock button. With that, I slammed the door, grabbed my Bush sign and headed into the back yard.

And now for the "rest of the story." About 40 minutes later, I heard a knock at the door. I opened the door to one of our city's finest . . . the Vancouver Police Department. The officer asked me what was going on and when I told him, he could not stop laughing! I followed him out to the perp's car and stood there while he asked the guy a few more questions. Upon learning that the guy lived a couple of streets down, I -- knowing what was about to happen -- asked him, "Why do you have Oregon plates on your car if you live just down the street (here in Vancouver, Wash.)?" Larry, Oregon has no sales tax, so often Washington residents will buy and register cars in Oregon to avoid paying sales tax . . . it's a crime and the fine is pretty stiff. Here comes the best part. . . . The look on this guy's face told me he knew he was about to get busted. When the officer asked for his license and registration, the "Democrat" mumbled that (his license) was suspended. Just for kicks and giggles I asked the officer if he smelled any alcohol coming from the guy! The officer looked at me, smiled and promptly gave him a field breathalyzer test. Guess what? You got it, he blew a .10, legally drunk in the state of Washington.

DUI, illegal registration and the brand of "MORON," all 'cause he hates Bush!

Sincerely,
John

... from Random Nuclear Strikes via Weekend Pundit

Am I the only one?

Am I the only one starting to wish Senator Kerry would stop stepping on it with his golf shoes long enough to make this campaign interesting? I mean, sure, it's interesting like being a witness to a car wreck is interesting, but at times I grow weary of it.

His latest I'm-Howard-Dean-&-I'm-Reporting-For-Duty strategy is a case in point. Now, close observers of the election process may remember that Howard Dean lost the race for the Democrat nomination. That is, his strident anti war + Bush lied equation was rejected by a plurality -- no, actually by a whopping majority -- of Democrats. That's right, Dean lost. So how does one explain Kerry's current move to Dean's position? We'll leave aside for the moment Kerry's pretending that he was there all along. Maybe his flip-flopping defense is to flip-flop so many times that it becomes old news.

Anyway, how do you explain it?

Is Senator Kerry so stupid that he thinks a more conservative electorate will embrace the position that lost Governor Dean the nomination?

Is he so malleable that he will say anything the Clintonistas tell him to say? (When Carville, Begala, and the rest signed on to the Kerry campaign, I was thinking that they had determined Kerry was so malleable that they thought they didn't have to wait for Hillary to regain power -- they could wield power through Kerry. Now I don't think so because the advice they're giving him is so obviously designed to lose.) Part II of this theory is that the campaign of the Wind Surfer has become a tug of war between the various Democrat factions, with JFK the red rag tied to the middle of the rope, moving back & forth as the real players struggle for advantage.

Or has Kerry just given up on winning and is now trying to keep the "base" (read: socialists) enlivened and writing checks?

When I bounced this question off my Mom, she said quick as a wink

ALL OF THE ABOVE.

I guess Mom is right; they're not really mutually exclusive if you stop and think about it.

Here's how bad it is. Remember before the Republicans really started to campaign how everybody said the Republicans were going to use Kerry's record of flip-flopping in the Senate against him? They've barely started. Instead, so far they've mostly used Kerry's flip-flops during the campaign, that is in the last few months, against him. Amazing. Like his press statement ridiculing the President of Iraq.

But still, just a car wreck.

Maybe tomorrow I'll get all fired up again, but for now I'm bored with it.

Dear CBS and 60 Minutes

I sent this email to CBS and to 60 Minutes IIlast night. Feel free to cut and paste.

Dear CBS/60 Minutes:

Would you please forward to me a list of your sponsors, including email addresses where available, street addresses where not. I would also like the name of the individual, office, or committee directly responsible for making the advertising purchase decisions. I would like to have a chat with them about the wisdom of associating themselves with your standards of truthfulness and accuracy.

Sincerely,
The Happy Carpenter

Something tells me I will get no response, other than some autoresponse crapola. Heh, in advance

Critics will note that I could get this information myself simply by watching CBS News and 60 Minutes for myself. Sure, and next thing you know I'll be using snail mail, carbon paper, and clay tablets. Get real. The day of the Dinosaur is done. It's a revolution, baby, and this time it's the Left that's entrenched in power bastions with the mob outside.

I AM THE MOB.

koo koo ka choob.