What to get your kids for Christmas

You.

I don't know why this should be controversial.  It seems so obvious to me.  But if you have kids and are married (and you should be married if you have kids) either you or your spouse should be home with those kids when they're not in school.  You should do whatever you need to do to make that happen.  I'm not the only one who thinks so.

It could be that some dual-working parents want to stay home with their kids but don't know what to do.  Doing "whatever you need to do" will include some or all of the following:

• Making less money.

• Living in a smaller house in a less desirable location.

• Watching a smaller TV.

• Driving an older, crappier car.

• Taking a less expensive vacation, probably visiting relatives instead of skiing.

• Wal-Mart instead of Macy’s.

• The Library instead of Barnes & Nobles.

• Driving instead of flying.

• Having a less comfortable retirement.

• Retiring later.

• Enjoying less prestige among idiot feminists and their fellow travelers.

• Giving fewer, crappier presents for Christmas.

The dirty little secret no one wants to talk about when it comes to working parents is that people could make it on one salary if they were willing to make sacrifices for their children.  Materialism is hurting our children -- No, YOU are hurting your children with YOUR materialism, but only if you let it. 

Go drive through a neighborhood that was built 30 or more years ago.  You'll find houses that are a lot smaller than are being built now for the same class of people.  Yes, those people (our parents) who lived in those houses when they were new and raised children (us) would have liked to have had a bigger house, a two car garage full of junk with two cars parked in front, cool vacations, etc.  But they didn't have those things because abandoning their children to daycare was almost unthinkable. 

It should be unthinkable still -- a last ditch defense against actual hard core poverty.  I'm talking malnourishment here.  Look, your children are more important than the size of your house, the make of your car, the style of your clothes, and the size of your TV.  And though they will at times make you crazy, they are far more rewarding than material possessions. 

That this has to be said, and that saying it is controversial and will bring hateful lightning from certain political groups, is one of the strangest things about present day life in the

USA

.  How did so many of us let our things become more important than our families?  I'm shaking my head as I type that.  It's a complete mystery to me.  I understand who did it and why -- I get that part -- but why & how so many people fell for it?  How did that happen?  Don't you see your beautiful children right in front of you?  How could you value yourself as a parent so little?  How could you value your children so little?  How did you miss the fact that once they were born it became your solemn responsibility to give them the best life you possibly could? 

So sit down with your wife or husband this Christmas, and talk about it.  Put the house up for sale.  Start looking for nice small neighborhoods.  Figure out what you'll need to give up to do this.  Cut up your credit cards.  Plan a date for your garage sale.  It probably will be best for whoever is making less money to be the one who quits or changes their job, but maybe not.  You'll probably have to do a budget (Yech -- nobody likes doing a budget.) and the transition planning won't be easy.  Nobody promised you a rose garden.

You might not have to quit.  If your kids are in school, you could try going to your boss and telling him/her that you're making changes to your life style to benefit your family and you will have to end your work day at

2:00 PM

every day and take off all day on all school vacation days or quit.  Naturally your salary would be reduced proportionately.  Your boss may think that's a great idea.  He might be relieved to be able to keep you, even if it means he'll have less of your talents.  Or you might be fired on the spot.  If you've been working like you should, and if your company isn't run by total a-holes, then be prepared for a pleasant surprise.  At one company I worked at many years ago, we had a terrible time finding and keeping a competent receptionist, but solved the problem by advertising the position as following school hours.  We promptly found an excellent woman,

Verona

, to take the job.  5-1/2 hours per day of

Verona

were much better for us than 8 hours of duh.  Not all jobs are like that, of course, but maybe more than you (or your employer) think.  What do you have to lose? 

And yes, The Happy Carpenter and the Happy Wife have put their money where my mouth is.   She doesn’t work (Dammit, you know exactly what I mean!  You’re going to have to learn to stifle those politically correct feminist reflexes if this is going to work.), and I’ve structured my own career to also be around the family as much as possible.  I walk them to the bus stop almost every morning.  I'm usually home when they get home -- I'm usually working, but I'm there.  It doesn't hurt that they see me working, either, and they sometimes get to help, which they love.

We’re not poor, but look in the dictionary under ‘mortgage poor’ and you’ll find my picture staring out at you.  We could make a lot more money than we’re making now if we wanted to.  I’ve got the training and talents to get or make a really big money job, but I won’t.  Big money jobs take too much time, and too much travel.  I might get one after the kinder are all grown up and off to college, and I might not.  The Happy Wife could make a ton of money selling real estate, and she’d make a heck of a good dance instructor, or she could be a cop again (she was an Army MP in her youth), and she might do that after the kinder are grown.  Or not.  By then we’ll be used to the cash-poor lifestyle and might not want to make those sacrifices.  But maybe we’ll feel the need for career self-actualization, or really want more money for retirement. 

For the next 12 years, the kinder come first.

Yours should, too.

Comments

[Karen]

Here here!! This isn't said often enough!
I've been a full time mother for the last 10 years. I made a career change from high-flying high-tech executive to stay-at-home mom. And I will firmly proclaim to all those young "feminists"... You can have it all; just not all at the same time!

[Bone]

WHAT TO GET YOUR KID FOR CHIRSTMAS?? HOW ABOUT A BIBLE, A CROSS AND A GUN.. NUFF SAID.....

[Bone]

WHAT TO GET YOUR KID FOR CHIRSTMAS?? HOW ABOUT A BIBLE, A CROSS AND A GUN.. NUFF SAID.....