The Happy Carpenter

A father's fear

A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see that his bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then he saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow that was addressed to 'Dad.'  With the worst premonition he opened the envelope with trembling hands and read the letter.

Dear Dad:

It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mom and you.

I have been finding real passion with Stacy and she is so nice.  But I knew you would not approve of her because of all her piercing, tattoos, tight motorcycle clothes and the fact that she is much older than I am. But it's not only the passion...Dad she's pregnant.

Stacy said that we will be very happy.  She owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter.  We share a dream of having many more children.

Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone.  We'll be growing it for ourselves and trading it with the other people that live nearby for cocaine and ecstasy.

In the meantime we will pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Stacy can get better.  She deserves it.  Don't worry Dad. I'm 15 and I know how to take care of myself.   Someday I'm sure that we will be back to visit so that you can get to know your grandchildren.

Love,

Your Son John

PS. Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at Tommy's house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than a report card that's in my center desk drawer.

I love you.  Call me when it's safe to come home.

Thanks, Mighty Mo.

For Paula

A remarkable article from the NYT -- it squares with most of what I've read about Iraq

The article itself is not remarkable -- it's what warbloggers have been reporting for months.  But that it appeared in The Liberal Death Star is nothing short of amazing:

VIEWED from Iraq, where we just spent eight days meeting with American and Iraqi military and civilian personnel, the political debate in Washington is surreal. The Bush administration has over four years lost essentially all credibility. Yet now the administration’s critics, in part as a result, seem unaware of the significant changes taking place.

Here is the most important thing Americans need to understand: We are finally getting somewhere in Iraq, at least in military terms. As two analysts who have harshly criticized the Bush administration’s miserable handling of Iraq, we were surprised by the gains we saw and the potential to produce not necessarily “victory” but a sustainable stability that both we and the Iraqis could live with. ...

Naturally, one can't have "victory", no, that would not be nuanced.  "Sustainable stability" (pardon me, but isn't that repetitive & redundant?) is plenty good enough for the real goal of eliminating Iraq as a threat to the security of the United States.  What the Iraqis do from that point on is up to them, as it should be.

Today, morale is high. The soldiers and marines told us they feel that they now have a superb commander in Gen. David Petraeus; they are confident in his strategy, they see real results, and they feel now they have the numbers needed to make a real difference.

Everywhere, Army and Marine units were focused on securing the Iraqi population, working with Iraqi security units, creating new political and economic arrangements at the local level and providing basic services — electricity, fuel, clean water and sanitation — to the people. Yet in each place, operations had been appropriately tailored to the specific needs of the community. As a result, civilian fatality rates are down roughly a third since the surge began — though they remain very high, underscoring how much more still needs to be done...

Amazing what our troops, with no formal training in city management much less nation building, are accomplishing with new tactics.  And isn't it interesting to see that Heroes are still necessary?  Is Patraeus the indispensable man? 

But for now, things look much better than before. American advisers told us that many of the corrupt and sectarian Iraqi commanders who once infested the force have been removed. The American high command assesses that more than three-quarters of the Iraqi Army battalion commanders in Baghdad are now reliable partners (at least for as long as American forces remain in Iraq).

In addition, far more Iraqi units are well integrated in terms of ethnicity and religion. The Iraqi Army’s highly effective Third Infantry Division started out as overwhelmingly Kurdish in 2005. Today, it is 45 percent Shiite, 28 percent Kurdish, and 27 percent Sunni Arab.

In the past, few Iraqi units could do more than provide a few “jundis” (soldiers) to put a thin Iraqi face on largely American operations. Today, in only a few sectors did we find American commanders complaining that their Iraqi formations were useless — something that was the rule, not the exception, on a previous trip to Iraq in late 2005....

Of course, it had to end on a sour note and it did:

How much longer should American troops keep fighting and dying to build a new Iraq while Iraqi leaders fail to do their part? And how much longer can we wear down our forces in this mission? These haunting questions underscore the reality that the surge cannot go on forever. But there is enough good happening on the battlefields of Iraq today that Congress should plan on sustaining the effort at least into 2008.

Still, things are looking good.  Defeating insurgencies takes time.  We've had time and the tide has clearly turned.  Defeating al Quaeda in Iraq will be mostly done pretty soon.  Defeating the last of the Sunni dead-enders might take longer, or it might not -- Ramadi sure looks good.  But getting the Baghdad politicians to stop acting like Arabs and to instead act like patriots... there's the rub. 

Maxine is starting to grow on me. Not a good sign...

1. Jim Baker and Jimmy Swaggert have written an impressive new book.  It's called ..........    "Ministers Do More Than Lay People."

2. Transvestite: A guy who likes to eat, drink and be Mary.

3. The difference between the Pope and your boss,  the Pope only expects you to kiss his ring.

4. My mind works like lightning, One brilliant flash  and it is gone.

5. The only time the world beats a path to your door is if you're in  the bathroom.

6. I hate sex in the movies. Tried it once. The seat folded up, the drink spilled and that ice, well, it really chilled the mood.

7. It used to be only death and taxes were inevitable Now, of course, there's shipping and handling, too.

8.. A husband is someone who, after taking the trash out, gives the impression that he just cleaned the whole house.  (Hey!  I resemble that remark! - THC)

9. My next house will have no kitchen - just vending machines and a  large trash can.

10. A blonde said, "I was worried that my mechanic might try to rip me off. I was relieved when he told me all I needed was turn signal fluid."

11. My neighbor was bit by a stray rabid dog. I went to see how he was and found him writing frantically on a piece of paper. I told him rabies could be treated, and he didn't have to worry about a Will. He said, "Will? What Will? I'm making a list Of the people I want to bite."
      
12. As you slide down the banister of life, may the splinters never point the wrong way.

Thanks to Mighty Mo.

General Patton

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xyUX6wV1lBQ

Allow me to stick my head out of Hogwarts to bring you this news

Well, I've been neglecting you, and I'm sorry.  Harry, Ron, & Hermione needed me.  I'll be back soon.

In the meantime, I had to share this happy news:

Forecaster cuts 2007 hurricane outlook

The 2007 hurricane season may be less severe than forecast due to cooler-than-expected water temperatures in the tropical Atlantic, private forecaster WSI Corp said on Tuesday.

The season will bring 14 named storms, of which six will become hurricanes and three will become major hurricanes, WSI said in its revised outlook. ...

I can live with that.  If true, it will be very interesting to see what happens in the insurance situation in Florida which is beyond out of control.  The amount of money piled up by the state's insurance companies will be so huge that all kinds of aggressive things will be attracted to it.  But first, we need to get through this coming quiet storm season.

Out today!

Speaking of information bubbles...

I used to post often about the MainStream Media (which I want to call the Old Media but nobody will play along dammit).  I was thinking last night as I drove home that I haven't written a post like that in a long time, and the reason is obvious -- I just don't connect to the MSM anymore.

Back in May, we got in a pissing contest with Brighthouse, our local cable TV provider, and told them to get their stuff out of our house.  Which they did.  So for a bit over two months we've had no TV here (full disclosure - we did go over to friends' houses for the final episodes of American Idol and The Sopranos) and thus not even any accidental exposure to TV news.  I stopped taking The St. Petersburg Times over 12 years ago when I grew disgusted by their pacifist anti-Americanism, and saw no reason then or now to re-subscribe. 

I get my news here, from the links I show on my blog over to the left, and from the radio.  I honestly don't know for sure who the main broadcast news anchors are right now -- I know CBS is fronting a woman, and I think she's Katie Couric, but I'm not sure and I wouldn't recognize her face in a line up. 
I just haven't been exposed to the quite relentless propaganda of defeat and Bush-sucks-ism that many of my unfortunate fellow Americans are immersed in.  The name of a single editor of a big city newspaper?  Please!  What do I care?

Lucky me.  Too bad for you. 

Hey -- drop the Old Media.  Your life will be better for it.

Not much to say -- can't believe it

Congress's attempt to lose the war is so hard for me to believe that it's difficult for me to talk about it.  I'm shocked.

Either those are the most despicable bunch of Quislings ever gathered in Washington, DC or their information bubble is so tightly self-contained and impenetrable that they might as well be deaf, dumb, and blind. 

Unbelievable.

Two wrongs don't make a right, but...

Let's keep the Libby pardon fair and balanced.....

President Clinton's Pardons in Jan. 2001....

---

   Bill Clinton                                                                                       

Washington

,

D.C.

20530

January 20, 2001

Pardon Grants January 2001

Name	Home Town	Offenses
ALLEN, Verla Jean	Everton , Arkansas	False statements to agency of United States
ALTIERE, Nicholas M.	Las Vegas , Nevada	Importation of cocaine
ALTSCHUL, Bernice Ruth	Sherman Village , California	Conspiracy to commit money laundering
ANDERSON, Joe, Jr.	Grove Hill , Alabama	Income tax evasion
ANDERSON, William Sterling	Spartanburg , South Carolina	Conspiracy to defraud a federally insured financial institution, false statements to a federally insured financial institution, wire fraud
AZIZKHANI, Mansour T.	Huntsville , Alabama	Conspiracy and making false statements in bank loan applications
BABIN, Cleveland Victor, Jr.	Oklahoma City , Oklahoma	Conspiracy to commit offense against the United States by utilizing the U.S. mail in furtherance of a scheme to defraud
BAGLEY, Chris Harmon	Harrah , Oklahoma	Conspiracy to possess with intent to distribute cocaine
BANE, Scott Lynn	Mahomet , Illinois	Unlawful distribution of marijuana
BARBER, Thomas Cleveland	Hampton , Florida	Issuing worthless checks
BARGON, Peggy Ann	Monticello , Illinois	Violation of the Lacey Act, violation of the Bald Eagle Protection Act
BHATKA, Tansukhlal		Income tax evasion
BLAMPIED, David Roscoe	Ketchum , Idaho	Conspiracy to distribute cocaine
BORDERS, William Arthur, Jr.	Washington , D.C.	Conspiracy to corruptly solicit and accept money in return for influencing the official acts of a federal district court judge (Alcee L. Hastings), and to defraud the United States in connection with the performance of lawful government functions; corruptly influencing, obstructing, impeding and endeavoring to influence, obstruct and impede the due administration of justice, and aiding and abetting therein; traveling interstate with intent to commit bribery
BOREL, Arthur David	Little Rock , Arkansas	Odometer rollback
BOREL, Douglas Charles	Conway , Arkansas	Odometer rollback
BRABHAM, George Thomas	Austin , Texas	Making a false statement or report to a federally insured bank
BRASWELL, Almon Glenn	Doravilla , Georgia	Conspiracy to defraud government with respect to claims; perjury
BROWDER, Leonard	Aiken , South Carolina	Illegal dispensing of controlled substance and Medicaid fraud
BROWN, David Steven	New York , New York	Securities fraud and mail fraud
BURLESON, Delores Caroylene, aka Delores Cox Burleson	Hanna , Oklahoma	Possession of marijuana
BUSTAMANTE, John H.	Cleveland , Ohio	Wire fraud
CAMPBELL, Mary Louise	Ruleville , Mississippi	Aiding and abetting the unauthorized use and transfer of food stamps
CANDELARIA, Eloida		False information in registering to vote
CAPILI, Dennis Sobrevinas	Glendale , California	Filing false statements in alien registration
CHAMBERS, Donna Denise	Memphis , Tennessee	Conspiracy to possess with intent to distribute and to distribute cocaine, possession with intent to distribute cocaine, use of a telephone to facilitate cocaine conspiracy
CHAPMAN, Douglas Eugene	Scott , Arkansas	Bank fraud
CHAPMAN, Ronald Keith	Scott , Arkansas	Bank fraud
CHAVEZ, Francisco Larios	Santa Ana , California	Aiding and abetting illegal entry of aliens
CISNEROS, Henry G.
CLINTON, Roger
COHN, Stuart Harris	New Haven , Connecticut	1. Illegal sale of gold options 2. Illegal sale of silver options
COOPER, David Marc	Wapakoneta , Ohio	Conspiracy to defraud the government
COX, Ernest Harley, Jr.	Pine Bluff , Arkansas	Conspiracy to defraud a federally insured savings and loan, misapplication of bank funds, false statements
CROSS, John F., Jr.	Little Rock , Arkansas	Embezzlement by a bank employee
CUNNINGHAM, Rickey Lee	Amarillo , Texas	Possession with intent to distribute marijuana
DE LABIO, Richard Anthony	Baltimore , Maryland	Mail fraud, aiding and abetting
DEUTCH, John		Described in January 19, 2001 information
DOUGLAS, Richard		False statements
DOWNE, Edward Reynolds		Conspiracy to commit wire fraud and tax evasion; securities fraud
DUDLEY, Marvin Dean	Omaha , Nebraska	False statements
DUNCAN, Larry Lee	Branson , Missouri	Altering an automobile odometer
FAIN, Robert Clinton		Aiding and assisting in the preparation of a false corporate tax return
FERNANDEZ, Marcos Arcenio	Miami , Florida	Conspiracy to possess with intent to distribute marijuana
FERROUILLET, Alvarez		Interstate transport of stolen property, money laundering, false statements
FUGAZY, William Denis	Harrison , New York	Perjury in a bankruptcy proceeding
GEORGE, Lloyd Reid		Mail fraud
GOLDSTEIN, Louis	Las Vegas , Nevada	Possession of goods stolen from interstate shipment
GORDON, Rubye Lee	Tampa , Florida	Forgery of U.S. Treasury checks
GREEN, Pincus	Switzerland
HAMNER, Robert Ivey	Searcy , Arkansas	Conspiracy to distribute marijuana, possession of marijuana with intent to distribute
HANDLEY, Samuel Price	Hodgenville , Kentucky	Conspiracy to steal government property
HANDLEY, Woodie Randolph	Hodgenville , Kentucky	Conspiracy to steal government property
HARMON, Jay Houston	Jonesboro , Arkansas	1. Conspiracy to import marijuana, conspiracy to possess marijuana with intent to distribute, importation of marijuana, possession of marijuana with intent to distribute 2. Conspiracy to import cocaine
HEMMINGSON, John		Interstate transport of stolen property, money laundering
HERDLINGER, David S.	St. Simons Island , Georgia	Mail fraud
HUCKLEBERRY, Debi Rae	Ogden , Utah	Distribution of methamphetamine
JAMES, Donald Ray	Fairfield Bay , Arkansas	Mail fraud, wire fraud, and false statement to a bank to influence credit approval
JOBE, Stanley Pruet	El Paso , Texas	Conspiracy to commit bank fraud, and bank fraud
JOHNSON, Ruben H.	Austin , Texas	Theft and misapplication of bank funds by a bank officer or director
JONES, Linda		Conspiracy to commit bank fraud and other offenses against the United States
LAKE , James Howard		Illegal corporate campaign contributions, wire fraud
LEWIS, June Louise	Lowellville , Ohio	Embezzlement by a bank employee
LEWIS, Salim Bonnor	Short Hills , New Jersey	Securities fraud, record keeping violations, margin violations
LODWICK, John Leighton	Excelsior Springs , Missouri	Income tax evasion
LOPEZ, Hildebrando	San Isidro , Texas	Distribution of cocaine
LUACES, Jose Julio	Ft. Lauderdale , Florida	Possession of an unregistered firearm
MANESS, James Timothy		Conspiracy to distribute a controlled substance
MANNING, James Lowell	Little Rock , Arkansas	Aiding and assisting in the preparation of a false corporate tax return
MARTIN, John Robert	Gulf Breeze, Florida	Income tax evasion
MARTINEZ , Frank Ayala	Elgin , Texas	Conspiracy to supply false documents to the Immigration and Naturalization Service
MARTINEZ , Silvia Leticia Beltran	Elgin , Texas	Conspiracy to supply false documents to the Immigration and Naturalization Service
McCORMICK, John Francis	Dedham , Massachusetts	Racketeering conspiracy, racketeering, and violation of the Hobbs act
McDOUGAL, Susan H.
MECHANIC, Howard Lawrence		1. Violating the Civil Disobedience Act of 1968 2. Failure to appear 3. Making false statement in acquiring a passport
MITCHELL, Brook K., Sr.		Conspiracy to illegally obtain USDA subsidy payments, false statements to USDA, and false entries on USDA forms
MORGAN, Charles Wilfred, III	Little Rock , Arkansas	Conspiracy to distribute cocaine
MORISON, Samuel Loring	Crofton , Maryland	Willful transmission of defense information, unauthorized possession and retention of defense information, theft of government property
NAZZARO, Richard Anthony	Winchester , Massachusetts	Perjury and conspiracy to commit mail fraud
NOSENKO, Charlene Ann	Phoenix , Arizona	Conspiracy to defraud the United States , and influencing or injuring an officer or juror generally
OBERMEIER, Vernon Raymond	Belleville , Illinois	Conspiracy to distribute cocaine, distribution of cocaine, and using a communications facility to facilitate distribution of cocaine
OGALDE, Miguelina	Glendale , California	Conspiracy to import cocaine
OWEN, David C.	Olathe , Kansas	Filing a false tax return
PALMER, Robert W.	Little Rock , Arkansas	Conspiracy to make false statements
PERHOSKY, Kelli Anne	Bridgeville , Pennsylvania	Conspiracy to commit mail fraud
PEZZOPANE, Richard H.	Palo Heights , Illinois	Conspiracy to commit racketeering, and mail fraud
PHILLIPS, Orville Rex	Waco , Texas	Unlawful structure of a financial transaction
POLING, Vinson Stewart, Jr.	Baldwin , Maryland	Making a false bank entry, and aiding and abetting
PROUSE, Norman Lyle	Conyers , Georgia	Operating or directing the operation of a common carrier while under the influence of alcohol
PRUITT, Willie H. H., Jr.	Port Richey , Florida	Absent without official leave
PURSLEY, Danny Martin, Sr.	Goodlettsville , Tennessee	Aiding and abetting the conduct of an illegal gambling business, and obstruction of state laws to facilitate illegal gambling
RAVENEL, Charles D.	Charleston , South Carolina	Conspiracy to defraud the United States
RAY, William Clyde	Altus , Oklahoma	Fraud using a telephone
REGALADO, Alfredo Luna	Pharr , Texas	Failure to report the transportation of currency in excess of $10,000 into the United States
RICAFORT, Ildefonso Reynes	Houston , Texas	Submission of false claims to Veterans Administration
RICH, Marc	Switzerland
RIDDLE, Howard Winfield	Mt. Crested Butte , Colorado	Violation of the Lacey Act (receipt of illegally imported animal skins)
RILEY, Richard Wilson, Jr.		Possession of cocaine with intent to distribute
ROBBINS, Samuel Lee	Cedar Park , Texas	Misprision of a felony
RODRIGUEZ, Joel Gonzales	Houston , Texas	Theft of mail by a postal employee
ROGERS, Michael James	McAllen , Texas	Conspiracy to possess with intent to distribute marijuana
ROSS, Anna Louise	Lubbock , Texas	Distribution of cocaine
RUST, Gerald Glen	Avery , Texas	False declarations before grand jury
RUST, Jerri Ann	Avery , Texas	False declarations before grand jury
RUTHERFORD, Bettye June	Albuquerque , New Mexico	Possession of marijuana with intent to distribute
SANDS, Gregory Lee	Sioux Falls , South Dakota	Conspiracy to distribute cocaine
SCHWIMMER, Adolph		Conspiracy to commit an offense against the United States , conspiracy to export arms and ammunition to a foreign country and related charges
SERETTI, Albert A., Jr.	McKees Rocks, Pennyslvania	Conspiracy and wire fraud
SHAW, Patricia Campbell Hearst	Wilton , Connecticut	Armed bank robbery and using a firearm during a felony
SMITH, Dennis Joseph	Redby , Minnesota	1. Unauthorized absence 2. Failure to obey off-limits instructions 3. Unauthorized absence
SMITH, Gerald Owen	Florence , Mississippi	Armed bank robbery
SMITH, Stephen A.
SPEAKE, Jimmie Lee	Breckenridge , Texas	Conspiracy to possess and utter counterfeit $20 Federal Reserve notes
STEWART, Charles Bernard	Sparta , Georgia	Illegally destroying U.S. Mail
STEWART-ROLLINS, Marlena Francisca	Euclid , Ohio	Conspiracy to distribute cocaine
SYMINGTON, John Fife, III
TANNEHILL, Richard Lee	Reno , Nevada	Conspiracy and restraint of trade
TENAGLIA, Nicholas C.	Lafayette Hill , Pennsylvania	Receipt of illegal payments under the Medicare program
THOMAS, Gary Allen	Lancaster , Texas	Theft of mail by postal employee
TODD, Larry Weldon	Gardendale , Texas	Conspiracy to commit an offense against the U.S. in violation of the Lacey Act and the Airborne Hunting Act
TREVINO, Olga C.	Converse, Texas	Misapplication by a bank employee
VAMVOUKLIS, Ignatious	Exeter , New Hampshire	Possession of cocaine
VAN DE WEERD, Patricia A.	Tomahawk, Wisconsin	Theft by a U.S. Postal employee
WADE, Christopher V.
WARMATH, Bill Wayne	Walls, Mississippi	Obstruction of correspondence
WATSON, Jack Kenneth	Oakridge , Oregon	Making false statements of material facts to the U.S. Forest Service
WEBB, Donna Lynn	Panama City , Florida	False entry in savings and loan record by employee
WELLS, Donald William	Phenix City , Alabama	Possession of an unregistered firearm
WENDT, Robert H.	Kirkwood , Missouri	Conspiracy to effectuate the escape of a federal prisoner
WILLIAMS, Jack L.		Making false statements to federal agents
WILLIAMS, Kevin Arthur	Omaha , Nebraska	Conspiracy to distribute and possess with intent to distribute crack cocaine
WILLIAMS, Robert Michael	Davison , Michigan	Conspiracy to transport in foreign commerce securities obtained by fraud
WILSON, Jimmie Lee	Helena , Arkansas	Converting property mortgaged or pledged to a farm credit agency, and converting public money to personal use
WINGATE, Thelma Louise	Sale City , Georgia	Mail fraud
WOOD, Mitchell Couey	Sherwood , Arkansas	Conspiracy to possess and to distribute cocaine
WOOD, Warren Stannard	Las Vegas , Nevada	Conspiracy to defraud the United States by filing a false document with the Securities and Exchange Commission
WORTHEY, Dewey	Conway , Arkansas	Medicaid fraud
YALE, Rick Allen	Belleville , Illinois	Bank fraud
YASAK, Joseph A.	Chicago , Illinois	Knowingly making under oath a false declaration regarding a material fact before a grand jury
YINGLING, William Stanley		Interstate transportation of stolen vehicle
YOUNG, Phillip David	Little Rock , Arkansas	Interstate transportation and sale of fish and wildlife

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