The Happy Carpenter

One quick cute kinder ski story

Day one of skiing on this trip, last run of the day.  My 6 year old daughter is riding the lift with me at Ski Cooper.  This is her second ski trip, and last time she was a little meteoric djinni zipping down the trails and between the trees and signs, but this day she's been having a little difficulty.  Renee, however, never gives up.

So on the lift, she says in her sweetest little girl voice, "Daddy, will you please go slow and ski with me?"  Naturally, I say, "Yes, honey, thank you for asking me to stay with you."  And she says, "I love you, Daddy."  We get off the lift without incident (a miracle for me on this my 3rd day of snowboarding) and she waits patiently for me to get my board strapped back on.  Then we start off, and

** ZIP **...

She is GONE!  She's got her skis parallel and about 4' apart and she is going so fast I cannot keep up with her!  Then she stops to help another little girl pick up her ski poles, and I catch up with her.  And then she's off to the races again.  by the time she go to the bottom she was just a little spec to my eye and I make my old-guy GS turns down the mountain. 

My daughter Renee's first email to me

Payday:

Dear Daddy,

Um you are the greatest Daddy in the world because you do stuff with me and that makes me feel special really, really, really special!!!!!

Love Renee

Is she the greatest or what!

Buried in the wall -- ghost stories

So we've torn our kitchen apart for redecorating, and while I was carpenterizing I told the kinder we'd get a newspaper (a special event in itself -- no Old Media for us, no siree!) and bury it in the wall.  My eldest said she wanted to write a story and put it in there for some future carpenter to find, and this is what we wrote:

WARNING!  BEWARE!!

Beware of ghosts and ghouls in this house.

One time, there was a carpenter named Pedro working here in this house.  While he was working, a board fell on his head and he DIED!  Now and ever since that happened, he has been haunting this house.  He doesn’t let any one else do any carpentry work here, and he really, really hates electricians.  Here’s why…

He, Pedro, was working under some temporary bracing when an electrician, being careless and lazy, bumped into the board above him making it fall and it hit Pedro in the back of his neck, breaking it instantly, and sending him to instant death.  But because Pedro wasn’t finished with his job, his spirit refused to leave.

It is up to you, worker, to figure out what still needs to be done here.  But choose wisely, because if you do the wrong work, the WRATH OF PEDRO will descend upon you, and you will face the grave.  And if you do the right task, but do it poorly, then the lesser wrath of pain and a scar on your back and across your face, will happen to you. 

SO BEWARE!

Or death will come to you, maybe today.

This is absofreakinglutely hilarious!

Noel has been teaching sweet little Renee about his martial art, Kenpo, to his detriment as you shall see.

Download renee_beats_the_tar_out_of_noel.mpg.MOV

Warning!  This is a seven meg file and might choke you dialuppers.  It also contains extreme violence!

So I wonder, "When did the brain damage set in?"

Actual conversation with an 8 year old:

Mom:    Noel, didn’t I tell you to get your karate pants?

Son:      I already did!

Mom:   Where did you put them?

Son:      Put what?

Mom:   Your karate pants!

Son:      Oh!

Mom:    So where are they?

Son:      Idunno!

Sigh.

Kinder Update # 2

Rochelle got a 3rd and a 5th in yesterday's events, so she's at the finals today.  She's thrilled, of course, and nervous.  The Happy Wife said Rochelle's horse, Fire, was trying to buck and rear but RLT stayed firmly in her seat.  They're at the finals now.  It's amazing how well Rochelle does against girls twice her age.  She was born to sit in a saddle.

Kinder Update

Family consumers of The Happy Carpenter have demanded frequent updates about the kinder.  Actually, they've demanded daily kinder updates, but they'll just have to settle for intermittent.  Like this:

Rochelle is in Round 1 of her 3rd Horse Show competition.  She'll be riding a Morgan named Fire in the Hunt Seat division.  Hunt Seat has something to do with what you do with your butt and feet while riding, and also the Hunt Seaters wear different costumes than the saddle-seaters, but this rarefied equestrian stuff is lost on Yours Truly.  Anyway, if she places in the top 5 today, she'll advance to the finals tomorrow.

The little ones are stuck at home with Daddy, who is sick again.  I foresee a lot of TV and computer gaming for the blondies.

Satisfied, Mighty Mo?